January 23, 2008
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I wish I could change the name of my xanga but I don't want to lose the literal years of writing on here. I do realize that I wrote some pretty ridiculous things in high school but... well... I wrote them. They're mine and, chances are in a few years, I'll find the entry I'm writing now to be completely unimportant and instead will rant and rave about things that fascinate me. Or maybe by that point, xanga will be a fond but distant memory, just like opendiary is now. Actually, frankly, I don't miss that thing a bit. Too much drama but I do wish I had some of my first entries from the beginning of high school or whenever it was I started that thing many moons ago.
I'm finding home to be rather boring. Yes, I have some friends here that I hang out with, but I'm really not using my time to the best of its ability. I'm finding myself glued to the television (something that didn't happen at school...thank you lack of cable), watching ridiculous shows and not changing the channel because frankly...the dog literally ate the remote or at least stashed it somewhere and didn't feel the compassion to direct us to its location. What a pal. Regardless, this break is making me a complete and utter bum. I'm not liking it. Yes, things will pick up in a couple weeks, but until then I'm stuck. I'm not getting the hours I need at work. I'm seeing my friends occasionally but they're busy too. Life is moving around me and I'm stuck.
I keep getting the feeling that New Zealand is going to be big. BIG big. Big as in "Missy this will determine huge amounts in your life". It still doesn't feel like it's going to happen...like I'm going to screw something up. Everything substantial is out of my hands right now. I'm waiting on my visa and get really apprehensive about it. If that doesn't come in time, I eat plane tickets. Please pray that I get it before the 8th. Heck...I'll even take it the 8th. Or the 12th. Just not the 13th =. Freaking out aside, I feel like career choices might be a result of this trip. Of course, I'm going to have that little faith for a romance or whatever, but that's not mandatory. I guess I could just compare to this to a tsunami...looming quietly in the distance but will soon wash over and change everything.
..for the best, I hope.
Comments (3)
It was Jelena actually. I haven't even talked to Christie since the summer.
I was wondering what you were up to at home...apparently not too much. I hope your visa gets there on time. Maybe if you get too bored there you could take a trip to Greenville to hang out.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the 8th or before. That way you can worry less and fully enjoy the last few days knowing that all is well.
I truly wish I could tell you just how excited I am for you with this new adventure to New Zealand! I agree with you that it is going to be BIG and full of broadened horizons. You are such a beautiful person to me, inside and out (and inside-out!), and I know you will come back to me with so many amazing experiences and stories that will make you even more beautiful. Please don't fret about the details, m'love. It will work out, just as it always does. God and I are having many a pow-wow about you and your trip. You know the pictures of the rolling hills in New Zealand? Yeah, God's the one holding your hand as you two skip and frolic through them. =)
I love you bigger than you can imagine, chicadee.
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