April 7, 2008

  • I officially suck about writing on here on a regular basis. It's not necessarily because "I've been out experiencing life!" (although the past two weeks I have). I just don't feel compelled to write about all the intricacies about what I've been doing or thinking the past ...however long. I have been doing really cool things while here in New Zealand but nothing seems truly out of this world (aside from the road trip. I mean, really..who puts huge sand dunes there?) I've met some really cool people and gotten to know some a bit better than others. I haven't done (many) things I regret.

    The only thing I really know right now is that I have friends and especially family that love me. The fact that they remind me that they're praying for me means more than they'll probably ever know. So much is going on at home that I'm missing. One of my good friends is getting married. Another is becoming a mother. Plenty are graduating from college. I hate that I can't be there to celebrate and help out.

    The other night at church I wanted to feel God. I hadn't been to church in a couple weeks and wanted to just..I dunno...be blown away or have some sort of crazy revelation or something. And I sorta did. It's hard sometimes to get really involved in worship when you don't really know the words to the songs, so I didn't feel God then. The speaker was this English man who was hilarious but had such a passion. It was after him that I felt an answer. I've been recently wondering what I'm supposed to be doing. Should I stick with ceramics? Should I go into communications? Should I do massage therapy? Should I move to Uzbekistan and become a goat herder, abandoning all hopes at an educational degree? And then there's the whole concept of relationships that I'd rather not delve into. I wasn't directly searching for an answer to these questions. Instead, I was finding myself being exposed. I've been playing it safe for a really long time. I haven't asked God to use me where He wants me and instead have been literally praying for strength and growth but without the pain and trials. That gets me nowhere. My answer was basically God telling me to live for Him. Trust Him and just do what I can to show His glory. Things will fall into place whenever they're supposed to.

    and frankly...that's enough for me.

    On a totally different (and less compelling) note, here's mindless stuff that helps me pass the time.

    Opening Credits:
    "breakdown"- plain white t's

    Waking Up:
    "different people"- no doubt
    (i'm apparently skanky)

    First Day At School:
    "sleigh ride"
    (dope ride)

    Falling In Love:
    "a whisper"-coldplay
    (mm)

    First Kiss:
    "oh, it is love"-hellogoodbye
    (awwwwww)

    Fight Song:
    "Season of love"-Rent
    (wow. I'm brutal?)

    Breaking Up:
    "toxic"-britney spears
    (not sure if that's good or bad?)

    Prom:
    "investigate"-delirious
    (?)

    Life:
    "sleep all day"-jason mraz
    (now THAT'S funny)

    Mental Breakdown:
    "one of these things first"-garden state soundtrack

    Driving:
    "cemetery drive"- my chemical romance
    (i'm not sure i like that)

    Flashback:
    "turn around"- david ryan harris

    Getting back together:
    "wake up"- the arcade fire
    (ain't that the truth)

    Falling in love again:
    "you shook me all night long"- acdc
    (there i am again...being skanky)

    Wedding:
    "declaration of love"- celine dion
    (swoon)

    Wedding Night:
    "whoa"-paramore
    (skankyface)

    Birth of Child:
    "tonight, not again"-jason mraz
    (my life is funny)

    Final Battle:
    "right now"-sr-71
    (i'm not ready!)

    Death Scene:
    "this modern love"- bloc party

    Funeral Song:
    "16 military wives"-the decemberists
    (uh?)

    End Credits:
    "slowly, through a vector"- say anything

     

    Well, that was thrilling.